The blue skies and the warm air is what I remember first. I was sixteen and I was a junior in high school. I was set to start my first job that day after school. I was to be the next great telemarketer! I had heard of far off bombings and long ago wars, but nothing ever happened here. Sure there were the bombing in Oklahoma and the bombing in the WTC in ‘93, but those were isolated, and those were a long time ago. I was safe.

I woke up early to get ready, I had a committee meeting before class. I was in the shower when my best friend, Heidi, called me. She seemed shaken and a little upset. She said that a plane had a hit a building in New York. I remember laughing. Like a lot of people, I thought it was a very stupid accident. I mean, how do you miss a building?

I turned on the news as the second plane hit. I dropped the phone. I could hear Heidi’s dad start to sob. This wasn’t some silly accident. This was real and something was wrong. The news started talking about terrorist attacks. Before that day I had never heard of “terrosits.” I didn’t know what that meant, only that they meant harm.

I left my apartment to walk to school. I didn’t want to go but knew I couldn’t stay home. My neighbor, Jack, stopped me and asked if I had heard. He told me what most people were thinking: there could be 50,000 dead. This would mean war. Images of being bombed and attacked raced through my mind. I didn’t want war, I was scared. I wanted to return to September 10th and keep living a life that was no more.

I got to school and found out that the Pentagon had been hit. Later, we heard of the plane crash in Pennsylvania. The committee meeting was canceled. First period I had college prep English. We were supposed to start reading The Scarlet Letter. Mrs. Petersen said that she didn’t see much point. We spent the one hundred minute class talking about what had happened.

I don’t remember anything from the rest of my school day. Only a great sadness. I know we watched the news most of the day. Maybe I learned something, I am not sure anything sunk in.

After school, I headed to my new job. There was a young boy on the streets handing out Extra editions to the paper with the headlines “Attacked.” I wanted to buy one but I didn’t have any cash on me. I went to work and learned how to provide customer service. No one talked about what had happened. I was terrified to be so high up in a building.

As days went by, I learned about the world outside my country. I learned of terrorists and extremists. I learned that people hated others simply because of the country they lived in. I learned of wars and attacks I had never heard of.

My friends and I still talk about that day. We all remember exactly where we were and what we were doing when we heard. We remember how we felt and how we handled the confusion.

I lost something that day. I lost my security and I lost my safety and I will never be the same. Sometimes I still wish I could go back to September 10th, 2001.